Radical responsibility means locating the cause and control of our lives in ourselves, not in external events.

Instead of asking who’s to blame, conscious leaders ask, “What can we learn and how can we grow from this?” Conscious leaders are open to the possibility that instead of controlling and changing the world, perhaps the world is just right the way it is. This creates huge growth opportunities on a personal and organization level.

sex makes happy

if you dont judge yourself then you wont blame

everything - job loss was my fault and my fault alone

everyday is a critical point

do something new everyday

i'm very sorry for all my actions

relationships

most erotic thing a man can do for a woman is to wash the dishes

Responsibility and ownership

There are no bad teams - only bad leaders

Leader is the single most important element in a team

A leader must own everything in his world - There is no one else to blame
The leader must acknowledge his mistakes, admit failures, take ownership of them and make a plan to win

“I will be honest about what I did, acknowledge its effect, repair what I can, and change how I handle it next time.”

Ownership is specific - no defensiveness

1. What did I do or fail to do?

2. What did I know at the time?

3. What could I reasonably have done differently?

4. What did I fail to communicate?

When subordinates aren’t doing what they should, leaders that exercise Extreme Ownership cannot blame the subordinates. They must first look in the mirror at themselves. The leader bears full responsibility for explaining the strategic mission, developing the tactics, and securing the training and resources to enable the team to properly and successfully execute.

As individuals, we often attribute the success of others to luck or circumstances and make excuses for our own failures and the failures of our team. We blame our own poor performance on bad luck, circumstances beyond our control, or poorly performing subordinates—anyone but ourselves. Total responsibility for failure is a difficult thing to accept, and taking ownership when things go wrong requires extraordinary humility and courage. But doing just that is an absolute necessity to learning, growing as a leader, and improving a team’s performance.

I take total responsibility for my actions and results

Responsibility means knowing why and letting that guide your actions to do specifically the right thing always

Whether a team succeeds or fails is all up to the

Leaders must accept total responsibility, own problems that inhibit performance, and develop solutions to those

His attitude reflected victimization: life dealt him and his boat crew members a disadvantage, which justified poor performance. As a result, his attitude prevented his team from looking inwardly at themselves and where they could

They must face the facts through a realistic, brutally honest assessment of themselves and their team’s performance. Identifying weaknesses, good leaders seek to strengthen them and come up with a plan to overcome

His attitude reflected victimization: life dealt him and his boat crew members a disadvantage, which justified poor performance. As a result, his attitude prevented his team from looking inwardly at themselves and where they could

But a leader must remain calm and make the best decisions

Even the most competent of leaders can be overwhelmed if they try to tackle multiple problems or a number of tasks simultaneously. The team will likely fail at each of those tasks. Instead, leaders must determine the highest priority task and execute. When overwhelmed, fall back upon this principle: Prioritize and Execute.

Even the most competent of leaders can be overwhelmed if they try to tackle multiple problems or a number of tasks simultaneously. The team will likely fail at each of those tasks. Instead, leaders must determine the highest priority task and execute. When overwhelmed, fall back upon this principle: Prioritize and Execute.

I should have done the right thing more often

I should have always kept trying to change

change to make others happy

decisions change circumstances - thats why leadership is importantn

i want my wives so i have to change

i didnt change because i was selfish, didnt read enough, didnt meditate enough, didnt watch enough humor

i have to take 100% responsibility for all past and present actions

taking responsibility helps change circumstances

my ego caused all my problems and nothing else

no one else did anything wrong, only me

thank you for teaching me

rena kaufman fired me and i deserved it for not changing the way i said i wanted to

i was weakminded and am

change in an instant isnt a thing unless you keep changing in every next moment

incentives increase productivity

If your team doesn’t get it, you have not kept things simple and you have failed.

And when things go wrong, and they inevitably do go wrong, complexity compounds issues that can spiral out of control into total disaster

They need to understand it to a point that they don’t need to be thinking about it to understand it. It needs to be on the top of their minds all the time.”

Simple: this principle isn’t limited to the battlefield. In the business world, and in life, there are inherent complexities. It is critical to keep plans and communication simple. Following this rule is crucial to the success of any team in any combat, business or life.

i have to learn to control my mind to be better at communicating and to serve others first

Science Fantasy is cool

In order to convince and inspire others to follow and accomplish a mission, a leader must be a true believer in the

missisons usally have risks required to overcome challenges

Leaders must always operate with the understanding that they are part of something greater than themselves and their own personal interests.

Once a leader believes in the mission, that belief shines through to those below and above in the chain of

Just as in combat, priorities can rapidly shift and change. When this happens, communication of that shift to the rest of the team, both up and down the chain of command, is critical. Teams must be careful to avoid target fixation on a single issue. They cannot fail to recognize when the highest priority task shifts to something else. The team must maintain the ability to quickly reprioritize efforts and rapidly adapt to a constantly changing battlefield.

Every leader must be able to detach from the immediate tactical mission and understand how it fits into strategic goals. When leaders receive an order that they themselves question and do not understand, they must ask the question:

Simplifying as much as possible is crucial to success.

When plans are too complicated people may not understand them.

It is likewise incumbent on senior leaders to take the time to explain and answer the questions of their junior leaders so that they too can understand why and

Not knowing the why prohibits you from believing in the mission - comedy is good reason

If goals aren’t aligned at some level, this issue must be addressed and rectified. In business just as in the military, no senior executive team would knowingly choose a course of action or issue an order that would purposely result in

Only when at all levels understand and believe in the mission can they pass that understanding and belief to their teams so that they can persevere through challenges, execute and win.

Team members, departments, and supporting assets must always Cover and Move—help each other, work together, and support each other to win. This principle is integral for any team to achieve victory.

you control me but i take responsibility for me

You have to overcome the ‘us versus them’ mentality and work together, mutually supporting one another.”

risks that can compound

The Gottman Institute recommends responding to defensiveness by accepting responsibility for your actual role in a conflict

Prioritize and Execute

Amid the noise, mayhem, and uncertainty of the outcome, we had practiced the ability to remain calm, step back from the situation mentally, assess the scenario, decide what had to be done, and make a call.

i want systemic improvements because could have avoided suffering / wrong doing

Our egos don’t like to take blame. But it’s on us as leaders to see where we failed to communicate effectively and help our troops clearly understand what their roles and responsibilities are and how their actions impact the bigger strategic picture.

“I can be wrong about this and still have worth.”

3. Admit the specific thing you got wrong

Practice short, accurate acknowledgments:

Keep your attention on the action and its repair. You can acknowledge a mistake without making a

Put Others First

Think before speaking

Meaning and Change

Meditate, Journal, Read, apply

i will keep changing until its right

i will put in effort everyday to maintain change and continue to pursue it

good leaders believe people can improve

I didnt change before because i didnt take it more seriously - i didnt put enough effort in

I didnt appreciate the oportunities i had

i wish i had changed sooner

Kapil gupta and everyone would have wanted me to do better

Mental Test

Success resulted from determination and will, but also from innovation and communication with the

Those of us that had made it through realized we could push ourselves mentally and physically much further than most ever thought possible through the pain, misery, and exhaustion of days without sleep—precisely what Hell Week was designed to do.

Dont question stream

Dont question stream

Nonviolent Communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg, is a way to express yourself honestly and understand other people by focusing on feelings, needs, and clear requests. Its aim is to find responses that take everyone’s needs seriously, without relying on blame, shame, or coercion. Center for Nonviolent Communication

The four main components

ComponentWhat you identifyExample1. ObservationWhat specifically happened, with interpretations kept separate.“You began speaking before I finished my sentence.”2. FeelingYour emotional experience.“I feel frustrated.”3. NeedThe underlying concern or value that matters to you.“Being heard matters to me.”4. RequestA specific, doable action you would like.“Would you let me finish, and then I’ll listen to your response?”

These four components guide both how you express yourself and how you listen. You don’t have to say all four aloud every time. PuddleDancer Press

A useful practice template is:

“When ___ happens, I feel ___ because ___ matters to me. Would you be willing to ___?”

For example, a complaint such as “You’re inconsiderate—you never help” could become:

“I’ve cooked and cleaned up the last three evenings. I’m tired and would like more shared responsibility. Would you handle dinner and cleanup tomorrow?”

Three distinctions that make it work

Feelings and interpretations

“I feel sad” names an emotion.

“I feel like you don’t care about me” expresses an interpretation of another person’s attitude. NVC encourages you to identify the emotion underneath that interpretation: perhaps sadness, loneliness, or disappointment.

Needs and strategies

Connection is a need. Having your partner call every evening is one possible strategy for meeting it.

Separating the two leaves room to find an arrangement that works for both people. You can take the need seriously while discussing different ways to meet it.

Requests and demands

A request leaves room for the other person to decline or suggest an alternative. Saying “Would you please…” doesn’t make something a request if refusal will be met with punishment or guilt.

These distinctions—between feelings and interpretations, needs and strategies, and requests and demands—are central to NVC practice. BayNVC

Listening is equally important

When someone is upset, try to understand the feelings and needs behind their words before offering advice or explaining yourself.

If they say, “You only think about yourself,” you might ask:

“Are you feeling overwhelmed and wanting more help from me?”

That is a tentative guess, so let them correct it. You can understand what matters to them while still discussing which parts of their account you agree with. Empathic listening and honest expression are both central to NVC. Center for Nonviolent Communication

How it connects to your questions about blame

You can use the same process privately when a blaming thought appears.

Suppose you think: “They’re selfish.”

Ask yourself:

You can also wonder, without assuming: “What might matter to them here—rest, freedom to choose, or something I haven’t understood?”

This applies NVC’s practice of self-empathy: using your reaction to understand your feelings and needs, then choosing a response. BayNVC

You can practice NVC while angry, disagree, and maintain boundaries. For example: “I want to discuss this, and I’m going to pause the conversation if the name-calling continues.” Understanding someone’s needs does not require agreeing to their behavior.

For your next conversation, try one specific observation, one feeling, one need, and one clear request—then make room to hear the other person’s perspective.